Comments on Bannable Offenses: So Close

you had better respond to these older ones... ki...

2009-12-03T03:18:46.846-08:00

you had better respond to these older ones...

kilograms.
kilograms?
KILOGRAMS?
FUCKING KILOGRAMS??!!?!

ok now i may not be the smartest person in the world but last time i checked we used the imperial system here in the states... in fact i'm betting only like 10 people U.S. born even know the entire metric system...

up until now i was all for you being serious and shit... but uhm kilograms seriously throws me off when you are trying to pull off an American who is also a GM in FFXI

So... let me get this straight...They were a coupl...

2009-04-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

So... let me get this straight...

They were a couple, she was his and he was hers. They loved each other and had a fight, and she then went to commit suicide.

Instead, she crushed her Wang.

...

And this is not hilarious because...?

Hmmmmm, Darwinism.You have a point, either way...H...

2009-04-07T12:43:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmm, Darwinism.

You have a point, either way...

He dies -> they don't reproduce.

She dies -> they don't reproduce.

The world wins either way.

Honestly...think of this as Darwinism in action. ...

2009-04-06T04:52:00.000-07:00

Honestly...think of this as Darwinism in action. She's an idiot. He was an idiot. A well meaning idiot, but an idiot nonetheless.
And as far as her committing suicide...yeah, right. People who are serious about it, do it right, and they do it privately. This brat had to make a spectacle of herself, "look at me, I'm so hurting...I think I'll pick the most painful way to die and make you all watch..."
Do something interesting at least.
Pick a cause and die for that, don't just hop off a building like a retard.
Shove a stick of dynamite up your ass and go hug a terrorist.
Not a big fan of people who commit or attempt to commit suicide. The rest of us have to deal with this shit, what makes you think you're so special as to not have to anymore? Oh, and give us one more freakin mess to clean up and a funeral to pay for. Ain't you a peach.
Maybe we should make crematoriums self service and 24 hours. Go in, inject yourself with something poisonous, climb on the conveyor belt and ride that puppy on to the furnace...maybe even charge for it.

I think the people who have commented here have lo...

2009-04-02T15:22:00.000-07:00

I think the people who have commented here have looked at the matter in a "black and white manner."

There are several more things to consider.

1) Why did she attempt to commit suicide? This is not a decision that comes lightly; there must have been trouble in paradise. This was made even more clear by the fact that the article said they'd had an argument earlier on in the day, and that she had then threatened to commit suicide. This obviously shows the extreme tension there must have been between the two. Considering what she threatened to do, it's also relatively safe to assume that she was on the "receiving end" of his "wrath."

2) Point 1 makes it fairly clear that he most likely didn't care too much for her. At least not as we consider these things in western terms.

3) As a result, he most likely attempted to save her life in a reflex action, not out of love.

Considering these things, I really don't see any reason to think of this guy as a hero who died tragically. I see no problem in making a funny post about this, especially when it doesn't even touch the whole suicide-topic as it is. It's merely making fun of a retarded reflex action.

He DI'ed her. WoW Paladins know what I mean...

2009-04-01T16:13:00.000-07:00

He DI'ed her. WoW Paladins know what I mean...

where have you been charles?Don'y you know ALL Chi...

2009-04-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

where have you been charles?

Don'y you know ALL Chinese are gil sellers?

duh. noob. :)

I think we're missing the big picture here. What ...

2009-04-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

I think we're missing the big picture here.

What about the REAL victim??!?!??

Altana help her next boyfriend. How in the hell is he supposed to compete with "my last boyfriend died saving my life."

Poor bastard!

Seriously?While I am sure that most readers feel s...

2009-04-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

Seriously?
While I am sure that most readers feel strongly about certain topics, to go all critical about an blog written for entertainment purposes is about as useful as pissing on a sparkplug.
Andy Warhol made some of the darkest comedies in the history of the world. He was criticized, hell he was even shot dead due to some retards version of what was right and what was wrong.
He might have been a dark S.O.B., but that shit is still funny as all hell.
People, pull the stick out of your ass and learn to laugh. If that is too difficult, try a nice game of Whack-A-Mole at your local Glory-Hole. I hear it can be quite therapuetic.
Either that, or find a nice tall building and see who tries to catch your ass.
Not it.

so according to physics law.She reached terminal v...

2009-04-01T01:25:00.000-07:00

so according to physics law.

She reached terminal velocity

Quite literally!

The guys name was funny enough for me... WANG!

2009-04-01T00:40:00.000-07:00

The guys name was funny enough for me... WANG!

Way to promote racism there Nummies.

2009-03-31T19:38:00.000-07:00

Way to promote racism there Nummies.

I personally found this post very funny. Nothing ...

2009-03-31T13:27:00.000-07:00

I personally found this post very funny. Nothing wrong with a bit of the macabre.

LOL

2009-03-31T10:47:00.000-07:00

LOL

this was the funniest shit I ever read... Good for...

2009-03-31T09:36:00.000-07:00

this was the funniest shit I ever read... Good for the guy sacrificing himself to save his girlfriend.

but still the stupidity of the situation is hilarious... I say keep em comin' Dave.

and if Susan gives you /gave you hell for this post and not catching her from 7 stories, ask her why she'd jump from a 7 story building in the first place.

Why are some people so upset over this post? It...

2009-03-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

Why are some people so upset over this post?
It is kind of funny.
Dave is an equal opportunity mocker. No one is safe from his wrath. Especially the crazy ones.

On another note, I don't know chinese law, but if it was in America, would she be charged with attempted suicide AND murder?

Attempted suicide, sure. Murder, no. -Maybe- manslaughter, depending on how vicious the DA wanted to be.

Why are some people so upset over this post?It is ...

2009-03-31T09:22:00.000-07:00

So? They were chineseProbably Gil sellers.

2009-03-31T08:43:00.000-07:00

So? They were chinese

Probably Gil sellers.

I actually do read the comments just so everyone k...

2009-03-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

I actually do read the comments just so everyone knows.

Yes, I understand the whole self-sacrifice thing. I completely understand how someone would make that kind of choice.

Hell, he probably didn't even think before he did it.

That, however, doesn't necessarily mean I should respect his decision. Both people made really bad decisions and one of them paid the price for it.

What can I say? I have a dark sense of humor.

Would I try to catch Susan? Yes.

Then again, I never claimed I wasn't an idiot, too.

Love makes you do stupid things.

I don't really think that this story is funny. Sur...

2009-03-31T06:23:00.000-07:00

I don't really think that this story is funny. Sure the guy was trying to save a suicide victim but he was her boyfriend after all. I really like this blog but making fun of someones selfsacrifice out of love is a sad and emotionless thing to do not to mention to write about it.

You know, this reminds me of this time that one of...

2009-03-31T06:20:00.000-07:00

You know, this reminds me of this time that one of my friends went back to China for an SAT class, and her class was on the 11th floor. One day the girl sitting next to her didn't show up to class, and when the teacher asked where she was, one of the other students answered that she had jumped off the fourth floor to try and commit suicide.

She lived, of course, because she landed in some bushes or something, and came to class the next day. On crutches. AND this particular building did not have an elevator.

According to my friend, the suicide rate among Chinese students is something like 21%.

Actually, I understand that it's quite rare for su...

2009-03-31T06:17:00.000-07:00

Actually, I understand that it's quite rare for suicide attempts to happen more than once. Generally speaking you get to a very dark place in your life, but once you've tried you can't summon up the courage again. Thank God I've never had to go through such a situation but that's what I've read about it.

In any case... very dark humor even for you, Dave. That was pretty upsetting to read. 8-(

Oooo...susan's gonna be MAD when she reads this......

2009-03-31T05:42:00.000-07:00

Oooo...susan's gonna be MAD when she reads this...

To be fair, people do very, very, VERY crazy/stupi...

2009-03-31T05:31:00.000-07:00

To be fair, people do very, very, VERY crazy/stupid/retarded things when they're in love. He probably didn't give two shits if he lived, he just felt that he had to save her. Like in some weird-ass romance movie. Come to think of it, I bet we'll be seeing a love/tragedy movie with this ending within a year or two.

I thought the most ironic thing about the article ...

2009-03-31T02:47:00.000-07:00

I thought the most ironic thing about the article was saving a suicide victim. Sure, you saved her and she's alive, but in 8 months I bet she's back on that roof.